The Firebird
by Nadja Lee
Summary: Scott's thoughts when he sees Jean for the first time.


The Firebird 

By Nadja Lee 21/06/01  
  
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.  
  
Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel , 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.  
  
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.  
  
Timeline: Set at the beginning of UXM:1, when Scott first sees Jean.  
  
Universe: Comic  
  
Pairing: Scott/Jean  
  
Summary: Scott thinks about Jean and a dream he once had.  
  
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@hotmail.com   
  
Rating: PG  
  
Series/sequel: Nope  
  
Thanks to Christina for the Beta.  
  
Part 1:  
  
I see her walking up the stairs to the Mansion. Her red hair is half hidden under her hat, she has a bag in her hand and she looks ever so lovely. But I have seen beautiful women before, beautiful girls before and none have ever moved me the way she does. It is as if I have seen her before. I think back, back to a cold night long ago, when I was still in the orphanage. Back to a night when I first saw a firebird in my dreams. She was beautiful, a being of pure energy, of pure light. She shinned so brightly; she was perfect. Her flames didn't burn with fire but with love. The first time in years I have ever felt love was in her imaginary arms. To this day it is still the only memory of love I have. And it never happened. As a child I'll often sit by my window and make up tales about my parents, who they were and how much they loved me. But I can't remember them. I don't know who they were or what they looked like. I don't know their names or if they even loved me. I don't even remember if I'm an only child though I guess I must be. The professor is a man with great influence. If he didn't find any living relatives to me then I have none. Now, the X-men are my new family.  
  
I look at the young woman, Jean, again. Is it her? The firebird? The woman from my dreams? The only woman I know who can finally make me whole? I unconsciously rob my right shoulder. Some years ago when I was on the streets I got a tattoo on my right shoulder of that flaming firebird, the being of love, the only memory of love I have. Somehow I thought that with her image on my body, she'd keep me safe and warm forever. No such luck though afterwards, alone at night, cold and hungry, her image did help. I'll touch her image on my shoulder and imagine I felt a surge of love and power from her image. I'll imagine she made me feel better. She pulled me through quite a few times when I was ready to give up; she pulled me up, made me go on. Then I met Xavier and he didn't really like tattoos so I got it removed. The Professor gave me a new life, a chance to become someone; I can be the boy, the soldier, the X-man he wants me to be. I can be whatever he wants me to be. I have tried it often enough; I have been someone's lover, friend, son, enemy, soldier; whatever someone wanted me to be. Of all the roles I have played through my life to get by; the role of Cyclops is the easiest. My body is my own; I only have to give my mind. My soul I keep. I save it.....for her. So now as I watch her I think...is she the one? The one I have been waiting for? Is she the one for me? Is she the other part of my soul? Is she the one I'll give my heart? Is she the one who'll own my soul? Is she the one who'll own my body? Is she the one I'll give my love? Is she the one who'll get the rest of what I have in me? Is this me? Xavier's soldier, X-man and leader. Jean's husband, lover, defender and fighter? When I have given all away...what will I get in return? When I have given all away… will I finally find peace? When I have nothing left to give...will they still stay?  
  
My eyes return to Jean. Is she the one? The one for me? Will she set me free? Or will she put me in another cage? Will I ever find out? Is she my firebird? Is she the one who'll love me and teach me love? Is she the one?  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
